Fear Of Rejection
The idea of just calling a lead out of the blue and delivering the 30 second invitation we teach causes most people to instantly feel sick in the pit of their stomachs and literally feel a horrible combination of nervousness and confusion. I know you can really get psyched up to pick up the phone but when the moment comes to actually DO IT, EVERYTHING changes. The heart rate shoots up, breathing quickens, eyes dart back and forth, thoughts of rejection fill the mind, and eventually the pressure becomes too much to bare.Most networkers find this state so scary that they end up not doing any prospecting. The fact that “choosing to walk away” leads to the “instant gratification” of the nervous feeling going away makes it the most popular option. Most of the time (and I’m talking about probably 99% of the time here) people just walk away. They give up before they’ve even started. I find this topic fascinating.
If I just think about it, I can remember MANY times in my past where I wanted to talk to prospects, but I just didn’t do it. I can also remember feeling terrible for not investing productive time into my business…
Can you relate?
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUAL REJECTION AND THE FEAR OF REJECTION…
I think it’s important to realize that there’s a BIG difference between ACTUAL rejection (having a prospect who is offended, upset, rude, etc. to you when you start talking to them) and the FEAR of rejection (how you feel when you imagine that person rejecting you). I’ve found that for me PERSONALLY, my FEAR of rejection is actually FAR, FAR more painful and difficult to deal with than ACTUAL rejection in the real world.
The main reason for this is that most of the time when you call up a prospect and use the approach we teach, it is very pleasant experience. Notice I said use the approach we teach… this formula has been proven to get very little to no rejection if used correctly.
Out of the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times that I’ve used this approach, I can’t remember any time that a prospect said “Don’t ever call me again you loser!!” I’m sure it’s happened to SOMEONE, but it’s never happened to ME.
The worst I’ve had is a prospect saying it is a bad time to speak and hanging up before I could say another word. No yelling or cursing or anything like that. But here’s the kicker… You can experience an intense FEAR of rejection EVERY time you consider approaching a prospect. Imagine, something you can predict with almost perfect accuracy.
You can be in any situation, anywhere, anytime, and still have FEAR of rejection…which will prevent you from approaching a prospect. Ah, the power of the human mind.
HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION…
A lot of my team members ask me, “How do I deal with rejection?”.
The answer: Don’t worry about it. If you get “rejected”, you’ll be fine.
It’s no big deal, and it doesn’t happen that often. And when it does, you’ll recover shortly thereafter. It’s basically insignificant. The REAL question is “How do I deal with my FEAR of rejection?”. If you can overcome your imaginary FEAR of rejection, you’ll be on your way. (Some people have a type of fear that they might call “terror” when thinking of approaching prospects.) If you have this level of fear, then you might want to take a minute and check out some of the videos in the training vault page.
WHY DO PROSPECTS REJECT YOU…
Now let’s talk about those rare instances where a prospect actually REJECTS you.
For the sake of this discussion, I want to define “rejection” as a prospect doing something that lets you know that they are upset and offended that you called or approached them in the first place. I do NOT consider a prospect hanging up quickly or saying “No thank you” as actual “rejection”. I’ve found that there are a few main reasons why prospects actually will REJECT you.
Here are the main ones: (This applies to any situation not just over the phone)
1. You are not setting the stage of their listening.
In the script we say “I was hoping you could point me in the right direction” This sets the stage for them to open the ears to listen to your words that will follow. Now you don’t have to say it exactly how I say it, we have many member that say it differently example:
“Not sure if you could help me out”
“I was calling to see if you can help me out”
2. You are speaking to fast or to slow.
If you call up a prospects and they answer the phone with very high energy and you delivery the invitation very slow or with low energy then it can be a turn off for them or vice versa.
3. Making a prospect nervous with your tonality or body language.
If you start talking and you sound canned or like you are reading from a script, then they will immediately disconnect with what you are saying and probably say no. You don’t like people to read a script to you so don’t do it to them, memorize your script so you don’t have to read it.
4. Not understanding your prospects tonality. When you start talking to a prospect, they will let you know very quickly if they are open to talking to you. If you pay attention you will hear if this is a good time to speak or not. The good news is the invitation script is quick it can be delivered literally in less than 30 seconds, so despite the many different situations you will run into this script is universal to get you maximum results.
Your goal is simply to get permission to send them an email with info on your business or info on Ingreso Cybernetico if they are committed to a business already. Experience is the best teacher here. The more calls you make the better you will get. As I mentioned, FEAR of rejection, or IMAGINING rejection when you should be imagining success, leads to walking away. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Ironically, I’ve found that the best way to overcome my own fear of rejection was to see that it wasn’t going to actually happen. The more times I approached prospects and started conversations and the more I saw that people usually responded positively, the less I imagined things going wrong.
This led to a positive feedback loop of me wanting to approach more prospects and have more success.
Here are a few ideas for overcoming your own FEAR of rejection:
1) Practice saying your script for 30 mins.
2) Make 20 phone calls today.
3) Search for answer machines only- If you are scared to death of talking to people do what I did when I first got started. I would only leave voice mails of the pitch I would normally say to a live prospect. This allowed me to say my script over and over and learn it in a more relaxed situation meaning to a voice mail not a real person. So if I called and got a live person on the line I would say “I am sorry I have the wrong phone number” then I would hang up quickly.
Ok this is my long blah blah for today… go make some calls and take the steps to building your business.